Tag: Blog

Posted in Amy Douangmany, Blog, Healing, Self Reflection

🌁🖼🎨🎻🪫Dear Diary, Life can only be appreciated when you focus

Posted on by Ms. Amy D

on giving negative issues less attention.

At the end of the day, we have to remember that we entered this world at the exact time and date we were supposed to. When our time comes to an end, we’ll take our exit at whatever time and date that’s destined. Adopting the mindset that I was meant to come into this world alone, go through everything alone, and leave alone has given me a clearer perspective on how to see the world.

It’s so important to navigate different circumstances, obstacles, and challenges with grace, hope, and wisdom. Ultimately, these qualities are the key to protecting your peace, setting boundaries, and creating the life you want to live. I realize I could have been more firm with my boundaries in the past. Setting clear boundaries is something I’ve been making progress on.

Life can only be appreciated when you focus on giving negative issues less attention and continuing to pour love into yourself, forgiving yourself, and accepting that not everything is within our control. We’re all living for the first time and trying to heal from various things in our lives. I’m hopeful that everything that has happened to me was meant to happen, and I will triumph through the good and the bad.

Sometimes, it means minimizing trauma to face value. But in my personal time, when it’s appropriate, I allow myself to fully process and heal from those traumas. People might not understand that I don’t have the leisure or luxury to maximize my traumas due to the responsibilities I carry in my life. The way that I process my feelings and evaluate the events in my life are for me to understand and is ultimately my responsibility in where the opinions of others are just merely that, opinions.

I hope we can be good to each other because life is short. If things could be simplified, we could all benefit collectively from better communication, understanding, and empathy. I hope these days of feeling this way will eventually stop so I can finally breathe and face controversy without fear.

My concerns and intentions to address my concerns are genuine and valid. I’m just trying to get through life with the people I want to spend it with—my children, a few friends, and family. It is a very small, tight-knit circle that’s mostly inaccessible. I will always love those who love and support me.

I pray that I am continuously protected, time after time, again and again.  I aspire for that day to come where I’m able to feel safe existing and being my authentic self. I look forward to focusing on the little things that matter to me. Right now, nothing matters more than my kids. That’s all that matters to me then, now and will forever always be through this lifetime of mine.

Posted in Amy Douangmany, Healing, Self Reflection

💝💭🦋🧭💤Dear Diary, I am ready to keep showing up for myself

Posted on by Ms. Amy D

and setting whatever boundaries I need to set so that I can set the tone for the lifestyle that I want.

Today, I’m taking it easy. I’ve been really hard on myself to the point where I’ve finally allowed my body to sleep for extreme amounts of hours, exceeding the minimum requirement of five or six hours. That sleep was probably the best I’ve had all year. As things continue to unfold in life, whether they are opportunities or challenges, I’m just letting them come and go as they need to and dealing with everything accordingly.

Now, I have a little bit of time to unleash some thoughts. I wanted to share that these next thoughts stem from a video clip I just saw of a couple finally being blessed with a baby. One of the things we need to understand is that we are all capable of being blessed with amazing opportunities and gifts in this lifetime. It’s just that we don’t know when these opportunities will present themselves.

This is my first time living and going through these experiences that are tailored based on all the decisions I’ve made up until this point. I just pray that I am being watched over by my angels, that my intuition and spiritual being continue to guide me and give me the divine timing to make the right decisions, if and when these times come and those decisions need to be made.

I am ready to keep showing up for myself and setting whatever boundaries I need to set so that I can set the tone for the lifestyle that I want, especially when it comes to the peace, structure, and stability of the remaining years that I have. I am a true believer that life is really short, and what we have today can be taken away from us in the blink of an eye. Even your own home.

There are a lot of people in the world with morals, and there are people with none. So, while you exist today, just know that everything and anything can be taken away from you if you aren’t careful. If you don’t have emotional intelligence and awareness, you can easily become a victim to anyone or any entity at any time.
Just don’t take anything personally and keep having faith that what’s meant to be for you will be yours effortlessly.

Posted in Akira, Amy Douangmany, Ariyah, Blog, Healing, Malynah, Maylana, Self Reflection

🦋🪺🕊🐾💧 Dear Diary, We’re all experiencing life for the first time

Posted on by Ms. Amy D

and it’s far from easy.

My throat is very dry and raspy, so I’m drinking some Aqua Panna natural spring water from Tuscany.

One thing about me is that I struggle with drinking water. I’ve always been bad at staying hydrated, and that’s probably why I decided to invest in higher quality water.

Now, I feel a bit better. Thinking about my mom, I’m grateful every day for her, despite her strictness when growing up. Now that I’m an adult with my own children, I love my mom so much. We often don’t understand how hard it is to be a mom, trying to raise multiple children while also learning and living life for the first time, just like our parents or children. We’re all experiencing life for the first time, and it’s far from easy.

I appreciate my mom doing her best to raise me with simple values like mindfulness, understanding, patience, and respect. Nowadays, respect seems so rare. Sometimes, we need to understand that people can only love as much as they love themselves. If they don’t love themselves, it’s impossible for them to love others.

I was up looking at my Tiktok campaigns, and one of them is the Feed Your Wild Side campaign. I joined because I felt a wild, fun, and free-spirited side to me exists. I submitted three videos, but one got rejected because I accidentally removed a letter from the account name. That was disappointing because it showed five years of being a mom to my youngest, capturing a very intimate relationship with her. Things have changed over time, but my love for my kids is the most valuable thing in my life. I look forward to continuing to create memories with them. My wild side revolves around being a mom, and I wouldn’t change that. There are struggles in parenting, especially as children growing to be adults find their identities, which can take a lifetime.

I plan to continue loving myself as much as I can so that I can love them. It always starts with ourselves, and the love I have for them is a testament to how much I love myself. I’m constantly trying my best to get out of situations that don’t serve me or my purpose. I encourage everyone to do the same. Don’t let your life be limited by people who want to keep you on standby with no regard to your personal struggles or need for support because it’s just unnecessary baggage that’s not needed.  The way people treat you reflects how they feel about you, and once you accept that, you need to move with grace and not subject yourself to a lifestyle that doesn’t serve you.

Negative emotions can really affect your well-being. Feelings of being burdened, resentment, being gaslit, manipulated, or lied to can be detrimental to your mental and emotional health. So, choose yourself every time. The economy is rough, and nothing is promised. Live your life and share it with people who make you feel purposeful and passionate.

I don’t enjoy being in survival mode ever. I feel like I’ve done my part, being patient and understanding, thinking about others’ positions without any reciprocation. It’s rare to find someone who does something for you without reminding you of it. Genuine love shouldn’t come at the expense of your mental, physical, or spiritual health.

I’m thankful for my mom. The more I think about her, the more I realize it’s a parent’s lifelong responsibility to influence their children to be good, respectful, and mindful people. Sometimes it’s hard to accept things as they are, rather than as we wish them to be. But I’m coming to terms with it, and I think this will set me free.

I pray for continued wisdom, patience, and guidance. I hope that the good I put out will eventually align me with someone as real as I am. I don’t want to be in a relationship where my values are disrespected, where there are no morals or commitment to love and marriage. I hold my body, mind, and soul sacred and hope to make the best decisions for my future. We truly live once, and if we do it right, it’s enough.

Posted in Amy Douangmany, Blog, Healing, Self Reflection

🚢 🚣‍♀️ 🏊‍♀️ 🚀 👩‍🚀 Dear Diary, Tonight feels like I’m at Point Nemo.

Posted on by Ms. Amy D

I feel like I’m probably closer to space than I am to Earth at this point.

I feel so disconnected from certain individuals. I don’t understand why I can’t escape this feeling of being burdened and imprisoned by outside energy.

The water is calm where I am. The sun isn’t too hot. I can hear the leaves rustling on the trees and feel the movements of life in the waters surrounding this island. I am probably in a hammock in a bikini with a very adorable cat soaking up the sun. This cat of mine would have a round face, big fluffy paws, and her name is probably going to be Sailor Moon or Mooncake. Or Cupcake. She’s going to be part of my journey when the time comes, and I look forward to meeting her and having her accompany me, sooner than later.

I seek stability, structure, affection, and reassurance—all of these things that I keep putting out. But either my expectations are too high or others’ expectations are too low, and I feel disappointed.

I refuse to believe that the love I hope to acquire one day, the love of my life, doesn’t exist. I ask for simply what I’d give—the love that I put out. I want just that, if not more, and it seems almost unattainable. I’ve made peace with such possibilities, and I’m okay with focusing on just connecting with my inner self, nature, and everything in between. Maybe this is the epitome for me.

The lights on my balcony may not be much and may not cover a lot of space, but they’re on my balcony. People see them, they acknowledge them to themselves, and they’re beautiful. Dimmable. That’s me. I’m a balcony with lights on it. I put out light—not always, but I put out light. I aspire to be remembered, especially for having a reputation for putting out light, no matter how dark or bright it is. It’s consistently on when it needs to be, not necessarily as a reminder, but as an identifier. I am this lighted balcony.

I’m on the balcony, rocking back and forth with two scoops of orange sherbet ice cream in one hand and iced coffee in my pink, Stanley, 30-ounce cup nearby. The day started at 96 degrees, down to 86 degrees in the evening, and the temperature will continue to drop to about 66 degrees by midnight.

That’s when the lights are on and brightest in my home. That’s when I’m awake while the world is asleep. And I’m okay with that because maybe I’m just not made for this world. Maybe in another universe, we can be on the same schedule for once. Just maybe.

I’m going to dim my lights to an all-time low, but when I turn up the brightness, don’t stare and brace yourself because you could be blinded by how bright these lights can get. It’s still dimmable. Only on my command. Unlimited lumens.

Posted in Amy Douangmany, Blog, Healing, Self Reflection

❤️‍🩹💭😶‍🌫️🫀🧠 Dear Diary, It’s amazing how the world sends signals and signs, even messages through dreams

Posted on by Ms. Amy D

about people who lack honesty and transparency.

This is my third attempt to get this draft published as a blog, and I have to admit, I’m feeling a whirlwind of emotions. I’m grateful my drafts have been a safe space for me.

In previous drafts, which never made it out, I mentioned how inflation is at an all-time high and likely to rise further. Life is already challenging enough without having to deal with energy vampires who smear your name and lack accountability and emotional intelligence. It’s incredibly draining. Today, I’ve decided I’ve had enough. I don’t need anyone watching my pockets and assuming my life is perfect because it’s not just about my finances.

It’s about how I perceive life, the relationships I invest in, and how I love and show up for myself. If the wrong people have access to your life, you’ll always feel drained, and your energy won’t be at its highest frequency. Today, I’m shedding feelings of exhaustion. 

I’ve thought a lot about finding a safe space where I can be myself and serve my purpose on this planet. I’m excited for this journey, and I’m standing firm. I’ve set the precedent, and it will remain set.

There’s a saying that stays relevant: people talk about others because no one is interested when they talk about themselves. Just trying to get by doesn’t make any average basic person more than they are unless they’re adding value and purpose to your life or others.

Even though I’m a girls’ girl, I don’t encourage gossip or hatred. I’ve stopped associating with people who have drama in their lives because I want no part of it. Today, I’m just tuning into my aura and doing some cooking, pouring all my love and patience into my food. Each bite is savory, spicy, and delicious, with a delicate glaze of honey. It’s a reminder that there’s always something better than entertaining negative energy.

I’m staying on track and don’t want to expose myself to unnecessary trauma or drama. The love I have for myself is enough for 2 people, and I can’t wait to share it with someone who loves me unconditionally.

My job is to protect and love myself, and to know that I am enough. That’s what it comes down to. I am enough. I love me, the path I’m on, and how unbothered I am. To each their own.

Posted in Amy Douangmany, Blog, Romance, Self Reflection

🏖🏞🛫💍📆 Dear Diary, I hope that one day, someone will come into my life and remind me

Posted on by Ms. Amy D

that loyalty and commitment to each other aren’t beyond my reach.

12:00 AM

Today, before I go to bed, I think about my sister. She’s out in Hawaii, and after all her hard work, patience, and selflessness, I am so thankful that for the past nine years, she’s had her man by her side. Their love is so admirable. Despite the little knickknacks in their relationship, they seem to have this undying loyalty and dedication to one another. I feel like that’s something I haven’t been able to have in the past, and I’m so happy for her. Love is such a beautiful thing. It really is.

I hope that one day, someone will come into my life and remind me that loyalty and commitment to each other aren’t beyond my reach. The world is so big, but the love that I have is so limited. Whoever it is that I love, be it friends, family, or pets, the love I give is so voluminous—it is without limitations or conditions. I hope that one day, I get lucky enough to have someone reciprocate that to me.

I hope that my sister’s trip continues to bring back the best memories for the rest of her life. I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii. I’ve always wanted to have that kind of love. The glitz, the glam—it will never compare to a love that is so delicate, patient, and genuine. I hope that the love they share remains consistent, that it doesn’t fade, that it doesn’t tarnish, and that they continue to add to it, despite the stresses of daily life.

I want so much for the people that I love. I know that some people have had to be left behind, and some are in the process of being left behind. There are so many who are about to acquire the kind of love and affection that I offer. But life is so short. I hope that each and every day, I continue to choose me until someone actually shows me, instead of just telling me, that they choose me. I am so excited for my sister’s future. She truly deserves all of it. I love you, sis.

I love you.

Posted in Amy Douangmany, Blog, Healing

🪩🎂⏳️🍋🌻 Dear Diary, “I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack comes on

Posted on by Ms. Amy D

and it makes me think of a friend.

I know that today is naturally a very challenging day for me so far, but I’m trying my best to stay in a good mood. It hasn’t been easy with all this traffic. Finally, I’m having my first meal after 5:00 PM. Surprisingly, it’s not so bad after all. Here I am, enjoying my crispy chicken tenders, amazing crinkle-cut fries, and I’m dunking them both in this delightful Cane’s sauce. To wash it all down, I’m sipping on some fresh cold lemonade.

Then, “I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack comes on, and it makes me think of a friend. She dedicated this song to me last month, and it was incredibly sweet. It’s the first time anyone has ever dedicated a song to me in a long time. She did it because I was going through some hard times in my life. When we caught up, we were very open about our struggles and vulnerabilities. I remember using Shazam to make sure I got the song right and took a screenshot. I sent it to her with a sweet text message.

Today is her birthday, and I’m very hopeful that she will triumph over the hard times and darkness she’s currently experiencing, just like I am trying to do. Although I have had some losses and some victories, there is no security in the unknown. I’m trying to stay as positive as possible.

When I do lose my cool and feel overwhelmed or emotional because of life’s journey, I try to give myself a break and not be so hard on myself. At the end of the day, I am just human, like everyone else. We’re all trying to process and deal with the traumas we encounter on a regular basis. So, with that being said, today I’m going to continue to move forward and take it easy. I’m hoping that over time, things will gradually get easier and easier, and these feelings of uncertainty will become just a slight, faded memory.

Posted in Amy Douangmany, Blog, Healing, parenting, Self Reflection

🧖‍♀️👩‍👦👭👼🐈 Dear Diary, I’ve been on a journey of seeing the good in people

Posted on by Ms. Amy D

but now it’s about seeing the good in me.

Today marks yet another milestone for me. Last night, I had the best sleep in a long time. It’s as if my worries are gradually leaving my mind and life. I’ve been reflecting a lot, especially on the cycle of life and our existence. We live day by day, and it’s essential to see each day as a gift.

I’ve been on a journey of seeing the good in people, but now it’s about seeing the good in me. I see the good in myself and acknowledge the good I deserve. This morning, I stretched, turned, and tousled in bed, almost reluctant to get up. I realized I was fully rested for the first time in nearly two months. This feeling brought reassurance, and I approached my day differently than usual.

I hopped in the shower and shampooed my hair, excited for our first family portrait in two years. The last time I tried to do it myself, my hair was faded and didn’t look right in the photos. I might try to edit those old photos again to bring them to life. But today was wonderful.

Life’s challenges aren’t always visible; they can be psychological, mental, or emotional. As women, we face these challenges monthly with our periods, compounded by additional stresses. It’s overwhelming, and I commend everyone who perseveres.

We often don’t acknowledge how gracefully we navigate each day, especially in today’s economy. Many of us enter this world without resources, family, or friends. But today, I felt good. I captured a few behind-the-scenes moments with my children, filling my heart with happiness. My passion for life centers around my relationship with them. I’m eager to understand their thoughts and personalities as they grow, influenced by people, teachers, celebrities, and little things that catch their attention.

I strive to continue to be an idol for them. When times get tough, I want them to think of how hard Mom worked and how she always made things happen without tolerating drama or gossip. I choose kindness, and when I can’t, I choose silence or empathy. This emotional intelligence and awareness have strengthened my character, reputation, and credibility.

We went for a nice fancy dinner, and I focused on quality time and sharing ideas with my children rather than spoiling them with luxuries. As they grow older and understand hard work’s value, I’ll introduce them to the more finer things. I’ve learned that sometimes we self-sabotage and miss opportunities for healthy relationships by being passive.

I’ve become protective of my presence, energy, and the details of my life. I no longer share my plans or achievements with everyone. There’s peace and security in executing plans and experiencing rewards for oneself. Mistakes teach resilience, and not everyone needs to know your wins or losses.

As the night concludes, my heart is full, and I’m grateful for the memories created with my children on this special birthday. I wouldn’t have wanted to spend it with anyone else but them.

Cheers to another year.

Posted in Amy Douangmany, Blog, Healing, Meditation, Romance, Self Reflection, Travel

👰🏽‍♀️⚘️🍸🎁🪡 Dear Diary, Today, I make a solemn promise to myself:

Posted on by Ms. Amy D

One day, I will no longer cry because of the pain others have inflicted upon me.

I will rise above the hurtful feelings, the disrespect, and the sense of not being good enough.


People’s negative thoughts and words about me have weighed heavily on my spirit while I struggle to survive and make the best of each day. Despite their efforts to tear me down, I tell myself that I will not cry. I will keep a straight face, perhaps with a knowing smirk.

But beyond that, I aspire to smile and laugh. I want to be pleasant and joyful in every moment of my life. If I were to cry then, it would be only tears of joy, seeing the fruits of my labor, the values I instill in my children, and the love I share with the man I choose to be my husband.

I’m starting to realize that looks only go so far, especially as I grow older. I can’t maintain what others expect of me forever, but I can ensure that I take good care of myself. I will continue to vibrate at the highest frequency, manifest my dreams, and exude my divine feminine energy, my genuine heart, and pure beauty.

I seek to be valued and respected by only the purest forms of love. Just because you are unaware of it, it exists, particularly for me. Therefore, I will ultimately be on the path to where I need to go. I will always be on time, arriving exactly when I am meant to.

Just know that much, dear diary.

Posted in Akira, Amy Douangmany, Blog, Healing, Romance, Self Reflection

💫🫶🏼🧖‍♀️🦚🥂 Dear Diary, Time really is of the essence.

Posted on by Ms. Amy D

It is important to live a life with purpose.

It’s been a while since I wrote.

And with everything going on, there’s so much to write about.

Suddenly, off I go into a world where my time seems to constantly slip away. There never seems to be enough of it, and it’s being filled with a bunch of nothings and some things. I know none of this makes sense, but it’s okay. Because somewhat, somehow, it makes sense to me.

I poured in hot water and closed the lid to my ramen bowl. I walked towards my bedroom, and I felt good. My room is a mess. I haven’t fully unpacked from my vacation, so things are once again out of place. I look up at the ceiling; it is spinning, and I feel tired yet restless simultaneously. I allow my thoughts to consume the moment.

Have you ever spent so much time telling yourself not to think about someone while doing it at the same time? Have you ever had to experience a pain that relives itself multiple times a day, every single day, for about a month now? And that pain seems to have a never-ending level of hurt. Right when I feel like I’m hurting so much, I feel like there’s always more pain to be felt.

There is something that I’ve been yearning for. I can’t seem to get there, at least not yet. But I feel like when I do, I will feel this just as intensely and consistently and persistently as the pain I’ve had to endure every single day. I’m starting to appreciate myself more because I don’t feel like people fully appreciate me enough. And I’m starting to realize that they can’t appreciate me enough because they don’t even know how to appreciate themselves. They don’t know what to appreciate at all, actually.

Time really is of the essence. It is important to live a life with purpose, to move with purpose and intention because, in order to grow, you need to continue to find your purpose, passions, and intentions. You need to continue to stimulate your mind and challenge your thinking process.

I have this feeling that maybe manifestations do come true, and when they do, it might be in the best form ever, in the most genuine and craziest ways. I feel like I deserve so much, and maybe, maybe it’s just a matter of time for everyone and everything to get lined up. Maybe it’s all worth it in the end because, for everything that I’ve been through, I feel like I deserve it. I deserve the most sincere love, the most intentional love and support, and the freedom that I’ve always wanted to have. I feel like I’ve been trapped in a world of hopelessness and constant struggling, and you know, I really feel like I am ready to receive. I’ve taken the steps to heal, to be the best person that I can be at this moment, and I welcome changes, challenges, and opportunities because I am worthy of them and I will never hesitate to prove that.