Lifestyle – Page 5 – Dear Diary,

Akira, Amy Douangmany, Ariyah, Malynah, Maylana, Romance, Self Reflection

Dear Diary, There’s a saying I once heard:

Posted on November 26, 2024January 27, 2026 by Ms. Amy D

to truly love someone, you need to know them.

It’s 1:40 AM, and my mind is swimming in this strange déjà vu. Here I am, exchanging messages with someone whose name I don’t know, whose gender I couldn’t even guess, and whose life feels worlds apart from mine. They’re from Singapore, studying in China, and somehow, across the vast oceans and time zones, they reached out with an invitation to join a TikTok Creators Live Network. I don’t entirely grasp the concept yet, but their gesture fills me with excitement and possibility.

It’s funny—this feels like having a pen pal in the digital age. We’re connected not by stamps but by a shared energy, a quiet understanding. This person, whoever they are, seems genuinely invested in my growth, and that’s humbling. It reminds me of something I’ve been realizing lately: sometimes, the people who want the best for you come from unexpected places. This moment feels like a blessing, a tiny seed of hope planted in the soil of my journey.

After a beautiful week with my children—my girls lighting up the weekend with their smiles—I’ve found this unwavering belief in the idea that everything will be okay. My kids deserve every ounce of love I can give, and they remind me, over and over, why I keep pushing forward. People come and go in life, often leaving scars, but my children’s love? It’s as pure and unconditional as it gets.

There’s a saying I once heard: to truly love someone, you need to know them. That resonates deeply with me, especially when I think of my kids. They notice the smallest details about me—when I’m tired, when I’m worried—and their concern touches my soul in ways I can’t describe. Their love teaches me that sacrifices aren’t burdens but bridges to something greater.

Yet, with love comes vulnerability. Not all connections are safe; some come with their share of betrayal and hurt. And then there are those rare ones that feel like home—no drama, no pretense, just a quiet kind of love. Those connections remind me that love doesn’t need flashy titles, material gifts, or grand gestures. Sometimes, love is simply enough.

I’ve been reflecting on how much of myself I’ve given away in relationships. Sharing your story, your quirks, and your dreams with someone feels like an investment, but when things end, it can feel like they’ve walked away with pieces of you. Still, even in those moments, there’s growth. You learn, you heal, and you come to understand that every connection, fleeting or lasting, has its purpose.

So here’s my takeaway for today: love, in all its forms, is never wasted. Whether it’s a stranger reaching out across the globe, the quiet bond with my children, or a connection that leaves without warning, every thread of love weaves into the fabric of who we are. And that, I think, is the real gift.

Love always,

Amy

Amy Douangmany, Blog, Healing, Meditation, Self Reflection

Dear Diary, I find myself grappling with an unusual fatigue

Posted on October 25, 2024October 30, 2024 by Ms. Amy D

– a heaviness that lingers within me.

Life has been quite intriguing lately. I truly believe that the universe has a way of aligning things to your liking when the time is right. Yet, there are moments when that waiting period feels like it stretches on for centuries—maybe even decades—though in reality, it’s probably just a few months. The weight of that waiting can feel overwhelming.

Recently, I reached out to several friends, and their responses have been nurturing and supportive, adding bits of positivity to my life. It’s remarkable how, at our core, we are all just human beings trying to navigate this existence. In these interactions, I’ve come to realize the importance of kindness, forgiveness, and making the best of every situation. I don’t want to be caught up in conflicts or negativity with others. I strive to understand their perspectives, but I know that we all need to find common ground and hit that reset button together.

For me, resetting feels crucial right now. I’m facing some emotional and spiritual challenges that seem to have caught up with me. Catching up with friends—whether in person or over text—has become a vital part of my healing process. I don’t want to be selective about when or how I reach out; I just want to connect. However, prioritizing these connections has become difficult because I’m focused on my own growth and self-improvement.

As the weather turns colder, I find myself embracing my hibernation season. I crave the comfort of home, cozying up with warm coffee and comfort food. There’s a simple luxury in having a safe place to call home, where I can operate on my own schedule—though I know that, like everything else, that can change. Change is inevitable, the one constant in life, and I welcome it. It often brings discomfort and demands adaptation, but upon closer reflection, I see that we are always adjusting to the shifts around us. I’m choosing to remain open to these changes, eager to continue growing along my journey.

Lately, I’ve been feeling particularly fatigued, and I know I’m not at my best energy-wise. Restoring that energy is important to me, especially as I focus on improving my communication and relationship with my children. I want to reassure them that they will always have a safe space with me, and everything I do is centered on creating that environment for them. As for my friends and family, I’m doing my best to stay connected without putting too much pressure on myself or them. I trust that we will reconnect in our usual ways when the time is right.

I remain humble and grateful, aware that my struggles, while challenging, are nothing compared to what others face. I recognize that life can indeed be much harder, and I strive to maintain that perspective. Acknowledging my current challenges allows me to understand that these experiences are opportunities for growth. I believe that life will get better, and I hold on to the hope that everything will eventually fall into place in due time.

Akira, Amy Douangmany, Ariyah, Blog, Healing, Malynah, Maylana, Self Reflection

💝💭🫀🐅🐾 Dear Diary, There is something incredibly beautiful

Posted on October 1, 2024October 1, 2024 by Ms. Amy D

about being a woman, especially a mother to daughters.

It feels like such a special, almost magical connection to share a similar energy with them. And if you’re lucky, like me, to be a girly girl yourself, surrounded by women who are the same—your mom, your kids, your sisters—it feels like an endless thread of experiences and conversations. There’s always something to talk about, something to bond over. I think it’s so amazing how women can connect like that. If life weren’t weighed down by all its stresses, I feel like we could be even more connected, as human beings should be. But the way society is structured sometimes causes challenges for people, especially those less fortunate. It creates these divides, placing people on different levels of life instead of seeing everyone as equals. The best way I can explain it is by looking at tax brackets—such a clear example of how people are categorized and separated.

I’m also really proud of myself because I made it through my first week of a caffeine detox. I know the advice out there is to ease into it and not quit cold turkey, but that’s exactly what I did. I guess I don’t always like to go with the flow. Sometimes I feel like going against the grain is important. It’s about experiencing something for yourself, even if it’s tough, so you have a story to share, a lesson learned. It gives you a unique perspective, like, “This is why it’s hard, but here’s what I gained from it.” I think there’s something beautiful about taking a different path, even when it’s the harder one, because it shows courage and bravery. It highlights how different we can be from one another, and that’s what makes us special.

Today, I’m feeling really good, almost emotional in a way that brings tears to my eyes. I’ve been feeling so disconnected from the people I love the most in life, especially my mom, my sisters, and even my dad. Life has a way of pulling us in different directions, but the friends I’ve made along the way—they’ve been my steady anchors, always within reach. My family, too, even when we drift apart. I think it’s normal to go on our own journeys for a while, but what matters is that we always find our way back to each other. That bond will always be there.

Life is full of ups and downs, but I truly believe that if you look for the good, you’ll always find it, no matter how tough things get. Even when chaos and obstacles come your way, the journey is the journey. And no matter what, I know I’ll get to where I’m meant to be.

Amy Douangmany, Blog, Self Reflection

🎟🎮🌁🚘⏰️ Dear Diary, a realization dawned on me.

Posted on July 21, 2024September 1, 2024 by Ms. Amy D

It’s true: the tables do turn.

I’ve gained enough clarity on some things about life, and it’s safe to say that life goes on and it will indeed get better if you leave some of your baggage behind. My future remains dependent on the steps that I take to get there. Just don’t ignore the opportunities that come knocking on your door.

Sometimes, they turn really fast, and other times, it’s as if they are moving in slow motion. But regardless of the speed, the tables are always turning.

Being on this side of the field has made me realize some things. It has made me understand that the trust you give out is incredibly valuable. If you trust the wrong people, it can be devastating because you gave them something so precious.

I often wonder if trust comes before love or if love precedes trust. It feels like trust is usually the first thing we offer before we decide to start loving someone, be it romantic or not.

The key to getting in is pending delivery. Once you have it, you might want to pay attention because getting in will take you to many places, and it’s not for the faint of heart for some. Perhaps it will give you access to information, networks, and involvement in various opportunities. When these opportunities come up, take them. Not often will you get something so special delivered into your life, offering you more clarity.

Amy Douangmany, Healing, Self Reflection

💝💭🦋🧭💤Dear Diary, I am ready to keep showing up for myself

Posted on July 17, 2024September 1, 2024 by Ms. Amy D

and setting whatever boundaries I need to set so that I can set the tone for the lifestyle that I want.

Today, I’m taking it easy. I’ve been really hard on myself to the point where I’ve finally allowed my body to sleep for extreme amounts of hours, exceeding the minimum requirement of five or six hours. That sleep was probably the best I’ve had all year. As things continue to unfold in life, whether they are opportunities or challenges, I’m just letting them come and go as they need to and dealing with everything accordingly.

Now, I have a little bit of time to unleash some thoughts. I wanted to share that these next thoughts stem from a video clip I just saw of a couple finally being blessed with a baby. One of the things we need to understand is that we are all capable of being blessed with amazing opportunities and gifts in this lifetime. It’s just that we don’t know when these opportunities will present themselves.

This is my first time living and going through these experiences that are tailored based on all the decisions I’ve made up until this point. I just pray that I am being watched over by my angels, that my intuition and spiritual being continue to guide me and give me the divine timing to make the right decisions, if and when these times come and those decisions need to be made.

I am ready to keep showing up for myself and setting whatever boundaries I need to set so that I can set the tone for the lifestyle that I want, especially when it comes to the peace, structure, and stability of the remaining years that I have. I am a true believer that life is really short, and what we have today can be taken away from us in the blink of an eye. Even your own home.

There are a lot of people in the world with morals, and there are people with none. So, while you exist today, just know that everything and anything can be taken away from you if you aren’t careful. If you don’t have emotional intelligence and awareness, you can easily become a victim to anyone or any entity at any time.
Just don’t take anything personally and keep having faith that what’s meant to be for you will be yours effortlessly.

Akira, Amy Douangmany, Ariyah, Blog, Healing, Malynah, Maylana, Self Reflection

🦋🪺🕊🐾💧 Dear Diary, We’re all experiencing life for the first time

Posted on June 24, 2024September 1, 2024 by Ms. Amy D

and it’s far from easy.

My throat is very dry and raspy, so I’m drinking some Aqua Panna natural spring water from Tuscany.

One thing about me is that I struggle with drinking water. I’ve always been bad at staying hydrated, and that’s probably why I decided to invest in higher quality water.

Now, I feel a bit better. Thinking about my mom, I’m grateful every day for her, despite her strictness when growing up. Now that I’m an adult with my own children, I love my mom so much. We often don’t understand how hard it is to be a mom, trying to raise multiple children while also learning and living life for the first time, just like our parents or children. We’re all experiencing life for the first time, and it’s far from easy.

I appreciate my mom doing her best to raise me with simple values like mindfulness, understanding, patience, and respect. Nowadays, respect seems so rare. Sometimes, we need to understand that people can only love as much as they love themselves. If they don’t love themselves, it’s impossible for them to love others.

I was up looking at my Tiktok campaigns, and one of them is the Feed Your Wild Side campaign. I joined because I felt a wild, fun, and free-spirited side to me exists. I submitted three videos, but one got rejected because I accidentally removed a letter from the account name. That was disappointing because it showed five years of being a mom to my youngest, capturing a very intimate relationship with her. Things have changed over time, but my love for my kids is the most valuable thing in my life. I look forward to continuing to create memories with them. My wild side revolves around being a mom, and I wouldn’t change that. There are struggles in parenting, especially as children growing to be adults find their identities, which can take a lifetime.

I plan to continue loving myself as much as I can so that I can love them. It always starts with ourselves, and the love I have for them is a testament to how much I love myself. I’m constantly trying my best to get out of situations that don’t serve me or my purpose. I encourage everyone to do the same. Don’t let your life be limited by people who want to keep you on standby with no regard to your personal struggles or need for support because it’s just unnecessary baggage that’s not needed. The way people treat you reflects how they feel about you, and once you accept that, you need to move with grace and not subject yourself to a lifestyle that doesn’t serve you.

Negative emotions can really affect your well-being. Feelings of being burdened, resentment, being gaslit, manipulated, or lied to can be detrimental to your mental and emotional health. So, choose yourself every time. The economy is rough, and nothing is promised. Live your life and share it with people who make you feel purposeful and passionate.

I don’t enjoy being in survival mode ever. I feel like I’ve done my part, being patient and understanding, thinking about others’ positions without any reciprocation. It’s rare to find someone who does something for you without reminding you of it. Genuine love shouldn’t come at the expense of your mental, physical, or spiritual health.

I’m thankful for my mom. The more I think about her, the more I realize it’s a parent’s lifelong responsibility to influence their children to be good, respectful, and mindful people. Sometimes it’s hard to accept things as they are, rather than as we wish them to be. But I’m coming to terms with it, and I think this will set me free.

I pray for continued wisdom, patience, and guidance. I hope that the good I put out will eventually align me with someone as real as I am. I don’t want to be in a relationship where my values are disrespected, where there are no morals or commitment to love and marriage. I hold my body, mind, and soul sacred and hope to make the best decisions for my future. We truly live once, and if we do it right, it’s enough.

Amy Douangmany, Blog, Healing, Self Reflection

🚢 🚣‍♀️ 🏊‍♀️ 🚀 👩‍🚀 Dear Diary, Tonight feels like I’m at Point Nemo.

Posted on June 23, 2024September 1, 2024 by Ms. Amy D

I feel like I’m probably closer to space than I am to Earth at this point.

I feel so disconnected from certain individuals. I don’t understand why I can’t escape this feeling of being burdened and imprisoned by outside energy.

The water is calm where I am. The sun isn’t too hot. I can hear the leaves rustling on the trees and feel the movements of life in the waters surrounding this island. I am probably in a hammock in a bikini with a very adorable cat soaking up the sun. This cat of mine would have a round face, big fluffy paws, and her name is probably going to be Sailor Moon or Mooncake. Or Cupcake. She’s going to be part of my journey when the time comes, and I look forward to meeting her and having her accompany me, sooner than later.

I seek stability, structure, affection, and reassurance—all of these things that I keep putting out. But either my expectations are too high or others’ expectations are too low, and I feel disappointed.

I refuse to believe that the love I hope to acquire one day, the love of my life, doesn’t exist. I ask for simply what I’d give—the love that I put out. I want just that, if not more, and it seems almost unattainable. I’ve made peace with such possibilities, and I’m okay with focusing on just connecting with my inner self, nature, and everything in between. Maybe this is the epitome for me.

The lights on my balcony may not be much and may not cover a lot of space, but they’re on my balcony. People see them, they acknowledge them to themselves, and they’re beautiful. Dimmable. That’s me. I’m a balcony with lights on it. I put out light—not always, but I put out light. I aspire to be remembered, especially for having a reputation for putting out light, no matter how dark or bright it is. It’s consistently on when it needs to be, not necessarily as a reminder, but as an identifier. I am this lighted balcony.

I’m on the balcony, rocking back and forth with two scoops of orange sherbet ice cream in one hand and iced coffee in my pink, Stanley, 30-ounce cup nearby. The day started at 96 degrees, down to 86 degrees in the evening, and the temperature will continue to drop to about 66 degrees by midnight.

That’s when the lights are on and brightest in my home. That’s when I’m awake while the world is asleep. And I’m okay with that because maybe I’m just not made for this world. Maybe in another universe, we can be on the same schedule for once. Just maybe.

I’m going to dim my lights to an all-time low, but when I turn up the brightness, don’t stare and brace yourself because you could be blinded by how bright these lights can get. It’s still dimmable. Only on my command. Unlimited lumens.

Amy Douangmany, Blog, Healing, Self Reflection

❤️‍🩹💭😶‍🌫️🫀🧠 Dear Diary, It’s amazing how the world sends signals and signs, even messages through dreams

Posted on June 22, 2024 by Ms. Amy D

about people who lack honesty and transparency.

This is my third attempt to get this draft published as a blog, and I have to admit, I’m feeling a whirlwind of emotions. I’m grateful my drafts have been a safe space for me.

In previous drafts, which never made it out, I mentioned how inflation is at an all-time high and likely to rise further. Life is already challenging enough without having to deal with energy vampires who smear your name and lack accountability and emotional intelligence. It’s incredibly draining. Today, I’ve decided I’ve had enough. I don’t need anyone watching my pockets and assuming my life is perfect because it’s not just about my finances.

It’s about how I perceive life, the relationships I invest in, and how I love and show up for myself. If the wrong people have access to your life, you’ll always feel drained, and your energy won’t be at its highest frequency. Today, I’m shedding feelings of exhaustion.

I’ve thought a lot about finding a safe space where I can be myself and serve my purpose on this planet. I’m excited for this journey, and I’m standing firm. I’ve set the precedent, and it will remain set.

There’s a saying that stays relevant: people talk about others because no one is interested when they talk about themselves. Just trying to get by doesn’t make any average basic person more than they are unless they’re adding value and purpose to your life or others.

Even though I’m a girls’ girl, I don’t encourage gossip or hatred. I’ve stopped associating with people who have drama in their lives because I want no part of it. Today, I’m just tuning into my aura and doing some cooking, pouring all my love and patience into my food. Each bite is savory, spicy, and delicious, with a delicate glaze of honey. It’s a reminder that there’s always something better than entertaining negative energy.

I’m staying on track and don’t want to expose myself to unnecessary trauma or drama. The love I have for myself is enough for 2 people, and I can’t wait to share it with someone who loves me unconditionally.

My job is to protect and love myself, and to know that I am enough. That’s what it comes down to. I am enough. I love me, the path I’m on, and how unbothered I am. To each their own.

Amy Douangmany, Blog, Romance, Self Reflection

🏖🏞🛫💍📆 Dear Diary, I hope that one day, someone will come into my life and remind me

Posted on June 19, 2024July 21, 2024 by Ms. Amy D

that loyalty and commitment to each other aren’t beyond my reach.

12:00 AM

Today, before I go to bed, I think about my sister. She’s out in Hawaii, and after all her hard work, patience, and selflessness, I am so thankful that for the past nine years, she’s had her man by her side. Their love is so admirable. Despite the little knickknacks in their relationship, they seem to have this undying loyalty and dedication to one another. I feel like that’s something I haven’t been able to have in the past, and I’m so happy for her. Love is such a beautiful thing. It really is.

I hope that one day, someone will come into my life and remind me that loyalty and commitment to each other aren’t beyond my reach. The world is so big, but the love that I have is so limited. Whoever it is that I love, be it friends, family, or pets, the love I give is so voluminous—it is without limitations or conditions. I hope that one day, I get lucky enough to have someone reciprocate that to me.

I hope that my sister’s trip continues to bring back the best memories for the rest of her life. I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii. I’ve always wanted to have that kind of love. The glitz, the glam—it will never compare to a love that is so delicate, patient, and genuine. I hope that the love they share remains consistent, that it doesn’t fade, that it doesn’t tarnish, and that they continue to add to it, despite the stresses of daily life.

I want so much for the people that I love. I know that some people have had to be left behind, and some are in the process of being left behind. There are so many who are about to acquire the kind of love and affection that I offer. But life is so short. I hope that each and every day, I continue to choose me until someone actually shows me, instead of just telling me, that they choose me. I am so excited for my sister’s future. She truly deserves all of it. I love you, sis.

I love you.

Amy Douangmany, Blog, Healing

🪩🎂⏳️🍋🌻 Dear Diary, “I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack comes on

Posted on June 7, 2024 by Ms. Amy D

and it makes me think of a friend.

I know that today is naturally a very challenging day for me so far, but I’m trying my best to stay in a good mood. It hasn’t been easy with all this traffic. Finally, I’m having my first meal after 5:00 PM. Surprisingly, it’s not so bad after all. Here I am, enjoying my crispy chicken tenders, amazing crinkle-cut fries, and I’m dunking them both in this delightful Cane’s sauce. To wash it all down, I’m sipping on some fresh cold lemonade.

Then, “I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack comes on, and it makes me think of a friend. She dedicated this song to me last month, and it was incredibly sweet. It’s the first time anyone has ever dedicated a song to me in a long time. She did it because I was going through some hard times in my life. When we caught up, we were very open about our struggles and vulnerabilities. I remember using Shazam to make sure I got the song right and took a screenshot. I sent it to her with a sweet text message.

Today is her birthday, and I’m very hopeful that she will triumph over the hard times and darkness she’s currently experiencing, just like I am trying to do. Although I have had some losses and some victories, there is no security in the unknown. I’m trying to stay as positive as possible.

When I do lose my cool and feel overwhelmed or emotional because of life’s journey, I try to give myself a break and not be so hard on myself. At the end of the day, I am just human, like everyone else. We’re all trying to process and deal with the traumas we encounter on a regular basis. So, with that being said, today I’m going to continue to move forward and take it easy. I’m hoping that over time, things will gradually get easier and easier, and these feelings of uncertainty will become just a slight, faded memory.