Posted in Amy Douangmany, Ariyah, Blog, Healing, Self Reflection, Travel

🌟  Dear Diary, With the clock striking 11:11 p.m., I make a wish,

a silent invocation for abundance and fulfillment, both material and emotional.

As the day transitions into the serene embrace of the night, the weather outside whispers of tranquility and possibility. Yet, within the confines of my mind, a storm brews, as if I have awakened with a predisposition towards conflict. Amidst the tumult of my thoughts, understanding feels elusive, like grasping at mist in the early morning light.

Nevertheless, I resign myself to the enigma, recognizing perhaps it’s akin to a bond, an intangible tether that binds me to the mysteries of my own psyche. Despite the uncertainty, there’s a sense of attachment, an invisible thread weaving through the fabric of existence, drawing me inexorably forward.

Anticipation swells within me like a rising tide. The prospect of travel ignites a spark of excitement, prompting me to commit wholeheartedly to my plans. Setting aside a substantial sum, I envision myself wandering the vibrant streets of Los Angeles, indulging in leisurely brunches, and witnessing the celestial ballet of sunrise and sunset, all while nestled with a book in hand, perhaps accompanied by a piña colada.

My gaze falls upon my temples, now more pronounced, a subtle reminder of the passage of time. Yet, in their prominence, I find a certain charm, reminiscent of a beloved figure—my grandfather—with his endearing dimples. Though frailty shadows his form, his spirit remains a beacon of admiration, a testament to resilience in the face of life’s adversities.

Reflecting on familial bonds, my thoughts drift to the unspoken burdens borne by mothers, grappling with the elusive pursuit of love amidst the chaos of life. While some may find solace in romantic fortunes, for others, such aspirations remain distant dreams, overshadowed by the weight of circumstance.

Glimmers of joy beckon like distant stars in the night sky. The prospect of a pilgrimage to Disney World fills me with childlike delight, while the allure of a simple yet elegant leaf necklace becomes a tangible goal, a symbol of personal indulgence amidst life’s demands.

Turning inward, I find solace in the rituals of self-care, a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. With each gentle caress of skincare, I find myself shielded from the ravages of time, a fortress against the inexorable march of age.

A somber note intrudes—a loved one, Ariyah, grappling with the cruel specter of cancer. Her battle became my own, a reminder of the fragility of life and the importance of empathy in the face of adversity.

As the night wears on, I eschew the trappings of makeup, reveling in the purity of bare skin. With the clock striking 11:11 p.m., I make a wish, a silent invocation for abundance and fulfillment, both material and emotional.

In this moment of reflection, I embrace the promise of the future, welcoming the unknown with open arms.

Posted in Amy Douangmany, Blog, Healing, Self Reflection

🌻🥧☀️🌡📦 Dear Diary, The air carries a gentle warmth

inviting relaxation and a sense of serenity.

Under the radiant Sacramento sky, with temperatures soaring to a delightful 76 degrees, every moment feels like a blissful escape from the hustle and bustle of city life. The air carries a gentle warmth, inviting relaxation and a sense of serenity.

After completing my spring cleaning rituals, I carefully stow away my winter attire, making space for the vibrant array of floral summer dresses awaiting their moment in the sun.

It’s easy to overlook the subtle risks we face daily. As time drifts by, a sudden wave of dizziness washes over me, prompting a moment of confusion. Fatigue, hunger, or perhaps mere exhaustion crosses my mind, but the sensation persists, hinting at something more serious. With a cautious resolve, I rise from my seat and make my way to the door, eager to escape the stifling heat of the sauna.

While saunas offer a myriad of health benefits, including detoxification, it’s crucial to acknowledge the delicate balance between indulgence and overexertion. Like any indulgence, an excess of sauna time can lead to overheating and even fainting, underscoring the importance of moderation in all aspects of life.

Reflecting on this, I’m reminded of the universal truth that too much of anything, be it water, affection, or selflessness, can have detrimental effects. As I yearn for a tranquil environment to simply exist, I’m reminded of the necessity of maintaining equilibrium and prioritizing self-care.

Posted in Amy Douangmany, Blog, Healing, Self Reflection

🐱🍞🧀🥑🧋Dear Diary, No one talks about what happens

when the adrenaline of survival fades away.

In the stillness of 1:38 AM, when the world is hushed and the chaos of survival subsides, a rare moment emerges for contemplation. Here, in this silent sanctuary, the floodgates of grief open, allowing for reflection upon the mishandlings of the past. Perspectives shift as the harsh realities come into focus, urging a more pragmatic outlook.

No one talks about what happens when the adrenaline of survival fades away. Let me shed light on it. In the tranquility of silence, I find space to grieve and ponder the mishandling of situations. It’s in these moments that my perspective shifts, prompting a more grounded and realistic understanding of things.

The pursuit of personal fulfillment becomes the demands of others, leading to the systematic dismantling of one’s security, stability, and happiness. Countless battles waged silently, hidden from the world’s gaze, met with indifference or hostility from those who wish to see defeat rather than resilience.

There were countless moments when I felt defeated, yet no one knew the struggles I faced. It seemed like others were rooting for my failure, unable to bear the idea of my success. I struggle to understand why we can’t support each other and strive for the best together. I believe in divine timing—what’s meant for you will come to you. If you’re sincere and dedicated, obstacles won’t hinder your path to success.

I link my Bluetooth to the Harmon Kardon speaker and cue up music from my Amazon Likes playlist. While my little chefs prepare breakfast, I attend to the household chores, folding blankets into makeshift beds. The laughter of children in the kitchen—offers a fleeting respite from the storm. The weather is lovely, prompting me to open the blinds and sliding door to let in the fresh air. However, my gaze falls upon my cat’s cage outside, a lingering reminder of a task I’ve been struggling to complete. I hope to dismantle it soon and rid myself of its presence.

A visit to the temple, Wat Phosiesattanak, in hopes of encountering my father, only to find he has already departed, brings a sense of belonging, a connection to heritage and community. I tuned in with the familiar sights and sounds. Nevertheless, we indulge in Thai tea and cultural foods, relishing the sense of belonging among familiar faces. This is as connected as I’ll ever be with anyone, just the surface level. Can’t go deep because I don’t want to get caught up in the whirlwind. On the surface level, I can satisfy my needs for H2O, Vitamin D, and Vitamin Me.