Author: Ms. Amy D

The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.
Posted in Amy Douangmany, Blog, Self Reflection

Dear Diary, No matter how chaotic or uncertain things may seem

Posted on by Ms. Amy D

every experience—whether painful or joyful—contributes to our growth.

Life is an ongoing process of transformation.

I woke up today feeling good, and that feeling is something I cherish. Lately, there’s been a lot happening in the world, things beyond our control, and while we all wish for better days, I’m beginning to think that maybe everything is unfolding exactly as it’s meant to. Change is inevitable. Some shifts happen overnight, others take weeks, months, or even years—but the world is in a constant state of movement. The weather changes, the population grows, illnesses come and go, and we, as people, are required to adapt. Survival isn’t just about existing; it’s about learning, growing, and evolving.

One thing I’ve come to realize is that not everyone will truly understand who I am or see life the way I do. And that’s okay. We’re all different, shaped by our own experiences, yet bound by the unspoken rules of society—standards of morality and guidelines we’ve learned over generations. It’s why we have laws, why we have juries, why we have systems in place to uphold justice. Authority figures, essential workers, and everyday people all play a role in keeping society functioning, and whether we realize it or not, we’re all contributing in our own way.

Despite all this, I feel at peace today. That peace comes from knowing that I am actively working on becoming a better version of myself. Growth isn’t just about wanting to change—it’s about putting in the effort. And I know I’m putting in the work. It’s easy to look back and wonder where the time went, but in many ways, I still feel like that little girl stepping into kindergarten for the first time. I remember the excitement of discovering letters, numbers, words—tools that allowed me to communicate and express myself. That curiosity never faded; if anything, it only deepened over time.

Through consistency, I’ve learned that we have the power to shape perceptions—not just of ourselves, but of ideas and concepts. If someone speaks a false narrative about you often enough, they can influence how others see you. That’s why it’s so important to use your voice. Never let someone paint you as something you’re not. I’m grateful for the heart I have, for the way my mind works, and for the emotional intelligence that allows me to navigate life with both logic and empathy. I know I’m contributing to the world in the best way I can, in a way that feels right to me.

Letting go—especially of good memories and connections—is painful, but I’ve learned to appreciate every single person who has crossed my path. Whether intentional or not, every interaction teaches me something. Some people show me the kind of person I want to be, while others reveal what I never want to become. You don’t always know what isn’t for you until someone exposes you to it—whether it’s dishonesty, aggression, or selfishness.

As I move forward, I embrace the beauty of transformation. Sometimes, change looks messy. Sometimes, it feels like everything is falling apart. But I have faith that, in the grand scheme of things, life is shaping me into exactly who I’m meant to be. We all have our ups and downs, but no two journeys are the same. And knowing that, my takeaway for today is this: trust the process, keep growing, and never let anyone define you but yourself.

Posted in Akira, Amy Douangmany, Ariyah, Malynah, Maylana, Romance, Self Reflection

Dear Diary, There’s a saying I once heard:

Posted on by Ms. Amy D

to truly love someone, you need to know them.

It’s 1:40 AM, and my mind is swimming in this strange déjà vu. Here I am, exchanging messages with someone whose name I don’t know, whose gender I couldn’t even guess, and whose life feels worlds apart from mine. They’re from Singapore, studying in China, and somehow, across the vast oceans and time zones, they reached out with an invitation to join a TikTok Creators Live Network. I don’t entirely grasp the concept yet, but their gesture fills me with excitement and possibility.

It’s funny—this feels like having a pen pal in the digital age. We’re connected not by stamps but by a shared energy, a quiet understanding. This person, whoever they are, seems genuinely invested in my growth, and that’s humbling. It reminds me of something I’ve been realizing lately: sometimes, the people who want the best for you come from unexpected places. This moment feels like a blessing, a tiny seed of hope planted in the soil of my journey.

After a beautiful week with my children—my girls lighting up the weekend with their smiles—I’ve found this unwavering belief in the idea that everything will be okay. My kids deserve every ounce of love I can give, and they remind me, over and over, why I keep pushing forward. People come and go in life, often leaving scars, but my children’s love? It’s as pure and unconditional as it gets.

There’s a saying I once heard: to truly love someone, you need to know them. That resonates deeply with me, especially when I think of my kids. They notice the smallest details about me—when I’m tired, when I’m worried—and their concern touches my soul in ways I can’t describe. Their love teaches me that sacrifices aren’t burdens but bridges to something greater.

Yet, with love comes vulnerability. Not all connections are safe; some come with their share of betrayal and hurt. And then there are those rare ones that feel like home—no drama, no pretense, just a quiet kind of love. Those connections remind me that love doesn’t need flashy titles, material gifts, or grand gestures. Sometimes, love is simply enough.

I’ve been reflecting on how much of myself I’ve given away in relationships. Sharing your story, your quirks, and your dreams with someone feels like an investment, but when things end, it can feel like they’ve walked away with pieces of you. Still, even in those moments, there’s growth. You learn, you heal, and you come to understand that every connection, fleeting or lasting, has its purpose.

So here’s my takeaway for today: love, in all its forms, is never wasted. Whether it’s a stranger reaching out across the globe, the quiet bond with my children, or a connection that leaves without warning, every thread of love weaves into the fabric of who we are. And that, I think, is the real gift.

Love always,

Amy

Posted in Amy Douangmany, Blog, Healing, Meditation, Self Reflection

Dear Diary, I find myself grappling with an unusual fatigue

Posted on by Ms. Amy D

– a heaviness that lingers within me.

Life has been quite intriguing lately. I truly believe that the universe has a way of aligning things to your liking when the time is right. Yet, there are moments when that waiting period feels like it stretches on for centuries—maybe even decades—though in reality, it’s probably just a few months. The weight of that waiting can feel overwhelming.

Recently, I reached out to several friends, and their responses have been nurturing and supportive, adding bits of positivity to my life. It’s remarkable how, at our core, we are all just human beings trying to navigate this existence. In these interactions, I’ve come to realize the importance of kindness, forgiveness, and making the best of every situation. I don’t want to be caught up in conflicts or negativity with others. I strive to understand their perspectives, but I know that we all need to find common ground and hit that reset button together.

For me, resetting feels crucial right now. I’m facing some emotional and spiritual challenges that seem to have caught up with me. Catching up with friends—whether in person or over text—has become a vital part of my healing process. I don’t want to be selective about when or how I reach out; I just want to connect. However, prioritizing these connections has become difficult because I’m focused on my own growth and self-improvement.

As the weather turns colder, I find myself embracing my hibernation season. I crave the comfort of home, cozying up with warm coffee and comfort food. There’s a simple luxury in having a safe place to call home, where I can operate on my own schedule—though I know that, like everything else, that can change. Change is inevitable, the one constant in life, and I welcome it. It often brings discomfort and demands adaptation, but upon closer reflection, I see that we are always adjusting to the shifts around us. I’m choosing to remain open to these changes, eager to continue growing along my journey.

Lately, I’ve been feeling particularly fatigued, and I know I’m not at my best energy-wise. Restoring that energy is important to me, especially as I focus on improving my communication and relationship with my children. I want to reassure them that they will always have a safe space with me, and everything I do is centered on creating that environment for them. As for my friends and family, I’m doing my best to stay connected without putting too much pressure on myself or them. I trust that we will reconnect in our usual ways when the time is right.

I remain humble and grateful, aware that my struggles, while challenging, are nothing compared to what others face. I recognize that life can indeed be much harder, and I strive to maintain that perspective. Acknowledging my current challenges allows me to understand that these experiences are opportunities for growth. I believe that life will get better, and I hold on to the hope that everything will eventually fall into place in due time.

Posted in Akira, Amy Douangmany, Ariyah, Blog, Healing, Malynah, Maylana, Self Reflection

💝💭🫀🐅🐾 Dear Diary, There is something incredibly beautiful

Posted on by Ms. Amy D

about being a woman, especially a mother to daughters.

It feels like such a special, almost magical connection to share a similar energy with them. And if you’re lucky, like me, to be a girly girl yourself, surrounded by women who are the same—your mom, your kids, your sisters—it feels like an endless thread of experiences and conversations. There’s always something to talk about, something to bond over. I think it’s so amazing how women can connect like that. If life weren’t weighed down by all its stresses, I feel like we could be even more connected, as human beings should be. But the way society is structured sometimes causes challenges for people, especially those less fortunate. It creates these divides, placing people on different levels of life instead of seeing everyone as equals. The best way I can explain it is by looking at tax brackets—such a clear example of how people are categorized and separated.

I’m also really proud of myself because I made it through my first week of a caffeine detox. I know the advice out there is to ease into it and not quit cold turkey, but that’s exactly what I did. I guess I don’t always like to go with the flow. Sometimes I feel like going against the grain is important. It’s about experiencing something for yourself, even if it’s tough, so you have a story to share, a lesson learned. It gives you a unique perspective, like, “This is why it’s hard, but here’s what I gained from it.” I think there’s something beautiful about taking a different path, even when it’s the harder one, because it shows courage and bravery. It highlights how different we can be from one another, and that’s what makes us special.

Today, I’m feeling really good, almost emotional in a way that brings tears to my eyes. I’ve been feeling so disconnected from the people I love the most in life, especially my mom, my sisters, and even my dad. Life has a way of pulling us in different directions, but the friends I’ve made along the way—they’ve been my steady anchors, always within reach. My family, too, even when we drift apart. I think it’s normal to go on our own journeys for a while, but what matters is that we always find our way back to each other. That bond will always be there.

Life is full of ups and downs, but I truly believe that if you look for the good, you’ll always find it, no matter how tough things get. Even when chaos and obstacles come your way, the journey is the journey. And no matter what, I know I’ll get to where I’m meant to be.

Posted in Amy Douangmany

Dear Diary, I hope it’s not too late.

Posted on by Ms. Amy D


I hope there’s still time for me to pour into myself the way I’ve always poured into others. I’ve spent so much time understanding and prioritizing everyone else, but I’m starting to see how vital it is to invest in myself too. I can’t keep filling others’ cups while mine runs dry. So, now is the time for me to replenish, hydrate, and take care of myself. There’s so much going on, and I want to be prepared. I want to be at my best, able to give fully, but only after I’ve taken good care of myself.

Lately, I’ve been finding peace in nature, reflecting on how I can show appreciation and gratitude for the people in my life who contribute to my success and well-being. I understand that it’s no one’s job to save me, just as it’s not my job to save others. I have to take time to hold myself close, comfort myself, and remember the younger version of me who dreamed so big for her future.

That young girl wanted so much—to be the woman who might one day cry in her Mercedes. And even though they say it’s better to cry in a Mercedes than not, I know that regardless of the luxury around me, I’ve achieved more than most. I aim to reach the top 1% of the world because I believe that’s where I belong. As I connect with more people, I realize there’s a shortage of individuals who have emotional intelligence, accountability, independence, or even basic common sense. Despite my efforts to be self-aware and emotionally intelligent, I’m human, too, and I can find fault in myself. I won’t be so hard on myself anymore because I recognize that I’m doing so much better than many.

I feel like I’m manifesting only good things in my life, and I’m grateful for the direction I’m heading. This is the most uncomfortable stage I’ve ever been in, and as things continue to unfold and fall into place, I pray for the strength and wisdom that have carried me through so much—from my daughter’s cancer diagnosis to moving out of my parents’ house, to enduring various experiences as a child. I’ve grown through so many versions of myself, and my vision keeps evolving for that future me I’m striving to become.

As terrifying as it can be to discover what’s going on in the “real” world and with the people I love, I remain resilient and positive. I refuse to let moments of vulnerability or where I am currently in life define who I am or what I’m capable of achieving in the future. I just hope that no matter what happens, no matter how time seems to slow down or speed up, I continue to see the good—not just in myself but in the others. I want to be kinder as well as less harsh on myself and allow myself to absorb and process things slowly over time.

I’ve been dragging certain things out, trying to put depth and thought into every decision. But now, it’s time to execute. It’s time to stop putting others before myself. I hope I continue to choose me, even though it’s been challenging because of the heart I have. I trust that the world will guide me, and I’m optimistic about all the good things that will come.

Posted in Amy Douangmany

🛍👠🥨📲🪫Dear Diary, I think it’s amazing being a girl

Posted on by Ms. Amy D

especially when it comes to retail therapy.

There I stood with a bunch of items in hand. I am in Zara, waiting in line, and I’m just people-watching, taking note of everyone’s individual style and taste. It’s fascinating how many factors contribute to what makes us unique as individuals.

It feels nice to get out and do some retail therapy. There’s something about having something new to use or wear that keeps life meaningful in a sense.

I successfully purchased some new earrings, new rings, a couple of outfits, and a new pair of heels. So far, so good. Life will only get better in time.

I can’t believe how fast today went by, and my day tomorrow is already filling up.

There’s something about making a call to someone. If the person on the other line feels like your phone calls give them anxiety, stress them out, or are simply unwanted and / or disruptive, then maybe the calls need to stop.

I’ve never really been a phone call or text person unless I’m very interested in someone and that energy is reciprocated. It’s rare, and as social as I can be, my social battery has limits. I think I’m just going to fall back now. I like the peace that comes with my solitude. Before I found anyone to confide in, I was absolutely okay with navigating through life without any support. I made mistakes along the way and will continue to make mistakes, and I’m okay with that.

I don’t understand why things have to be so complicated or why people have to pass judgment so much and so often. I don’t even understand why I tolerated it for so long. My tolerance for this kind of energy is finally going to make a full stop. I can not afford for people to continue passing their judgments on me when they have no idea about the struggles I’m dealing with in my life at any given time.

At any given time, I’m making decisions that I feel are the best option, considering whatever is going on in my life. They may not be perfect decisions, but sometimes I have to make decisions to get results or handle certain things.

I’m focused on my life more than anything right now, doing what I need to do. In doing so, I’m finally realizing that I need  to act accordingly and respect myself.

So it begins.

Posted in Amy Douangmany, Blog, Self Reflection

🎟🎮🌁🚘⏰️ Dear Diary, a realization dawned on me.

Posted on by Ms. Amy D

It’s true: the tables do turn.

I’ve gained enough clarity on some things about life, and it’s safe to say that life goes on and it will indeed get better if you leave some of your baggage behind. My future remains dependent on the steps that I take to get there. Just don’t ignore the opportunities that come knocking on your door.

Sometimes, they turn really fast, and other times, it’s as if they are moving in slow motion. But regardless of the speed, the tables are always turning.

Being on this side of the field has made me realize some things. It has made me understand that the trust you give out is incredibly valuable. If you trust the wrong people, it can be devastating because you gave them something so precious.

I often wonder if trust comes before love or if love precedes trust. It feels like trust is usually the first thing we offer before we decide to start loving someone, be it romantic or not.

The key to getting in is pending delivery. Once you have it, you might want to pay attention because getting in will take you to many places, and it’s not for the faint of heart for some. Perhaps it will give you access to information, networks, and involvement in various opportunities. When these opportunities come up, take them. Not often will you get something so special delivered into your life, offering you more clarity.

Posted in Amy Douangmany, Blog, Self Reflection

🍃🍨🌃🎀🧩 Dear Diary, People seem to not understand

Posted on by Ms. Amy D

that honesty and credibility are everything.

Tonight is an amazing night. Dinner was delicious, and now I’m taking a light late-night cruise, just to get to a point where I can get out and get some fresh air. On my mind tonight are some very humbling thoughts. It finally makes sense to me why I’ve always worked really hard and wanted to have luxury things, especially a luxury car—a Mercedes, in particular. My car has always been like a friend to me, taking me from place to place, from job to job, from home to home.

I feel like I’m moving in a very good direction in my life right now. I have a lot of support and many opportunities, and I want to remain humble. I may not always be in a Mercedes, plus a car is just a car. We’re not always going to have the nicest and most luxurious things. Sometimes, we might have them, but they may need to be in the shop or whatever. Not everything in life is permanent; certain things are temporary, just like this vehicle, I’m driving tonight. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter because life is about adjusting to changes, adapting, and learning how to survive. It’s about being grateful for every single thing.

As I continue through life, I hope to remain very humble, always grateful, treating people with love and respect, and being as honest as possible. In the world we live in, people seem to not understand that honesty and credibility are everything. Over time, you realize that the consequences of being dishonest and having malicious intentions toward others are not worth it. I’m very excited about the goals I’m setting for myself as I navigate through different situations that are beyond challenging and stressful at times.

Tonight is going to be a memorable night for me because I’ve found it in my heart that not everything is going to work out in life, and whatever is meant to be will be. When I had my phone call with my mother and sister today, I realized I am a very loyal person. I will always be loyal to those who are there for me, who try to give me support, love, and understanding, and who learn how to forgive. One of those people is my dad. It’s hard being a parent, working to provide for your children, giving them Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, and taking them on trips and outings. Whatever happens after a divorce or separation, it shouldn’t affect your relationship with your parents. They may have tried to make the relationship work, but it didn’t, and that’s okay. We have to forgive our parents for enduring the struggles of maintaining a relationship. I hope my children understand that in life, nothing is permanent. People die every day, relationships end, and it’s okay. Everything happens for a reason. If someone is meant to be in your life, no one can take that person away. If someone isn’t meant to be part of your life for long, ultimately they will take their exit when that time comes so stay detached from the idea that people won’t leave, because they do for various reasons outside of death or change of heart. It doesn’t mean they are bad people; they’re just not meant to be in your life anymore.

This is the mentality I am adopting moving forward. I need to think bigger. Everything that has happened, even the bad things, was supposed to happen so I could learn from those mistakes. I have to learn how to forgive myself, even though it sometimes hurts. Everything else is just part of life. I’m trying to find ways not to stress anymore. I’m trying to rest more, think more, and do whatever it takes to make life easier for me. At the end of the day, I can’t rely on others to take care of me. I have to take care of myself. As long as I can take care of and love myself, I can take care of and love others. To give to others—whether it’s love, time, or attention—it starts with yourself. I’m starting to understand the saying “you have to love yourself” in different ways as life continues to happen to me.

So, as I drive tonight, I’m going to enjoy my music, enjoy the company of my kids, and hope that each and every day moving forward, things in my life continue to get better. I’m going to continue to add happiness and value to my life and make sure my kids are taken care of. There’s nothing more important to me than being a mom in this lifetime.

I think that’s the beauty of it. If you keep trying to understand why certain things keep happening in your life and find a way to learn from them, instead of taking it personal, you’ll thrive. You won’t let the obstacles and challenges in life make you feel defeated or discouraged. There’s so much in life that I’m looking forward to: so many experiences, places, and different intricate desserts and meals I want to try. I want to breathe different kinds of air, visit different beaches and deserts, and have the experiences I’ve always wanted since I was young. I want a luxurious lifestyle, but I’m willing to work for it. I believe that everything I’ve been through in my life is leading me to those opportunities. Whatever happens, I will continue to try and not ever give up. I will continue to be honest. There is a lot of power in staying honest and not giving up, in just hanging on and continually trying over and over again and continuously learning.

Posted in Amy Douangmany, Blog, Healing, Self Reflection

🌁🖼🎨🎻🪫Dear Diary, Life can only be appreciated when you focus

Posted on by Ms. Amy D

on giving negative issues less attention.

At the end of the day, we have to remember that we entered this world at the exact time and date we were supposed to. When our time comes to an end, we’ll take our exit at whatever time and date that’s destined. Adopting the mindset that I was meant to come into this world alone, go through everything alone, and leave alone has given me a clearer perspective on how to see the world.

It’s so important to navigate different circumstances, obstacles, and challenges with grace, hope, and wisdom. Ultimately, these qualities are the key to protecting your peace, setting boundaries, and creating the life you want to live. I realize I could have been more firm with my boundaries in the past. Setting clear boundaries is something I’ve been making progress on.

Life can only be appreciated when you focus on giving negative issues less attention and continuing to pour love into yourself, forgiving yourself, and accepting that not everything is within our control. We’re all living for the first time and trying to heal from various things in our lives. I’m hopeful that everything that has happened to me was meant to happen, and I will triumph through the good and the bad.

Sometimes, it means minimizing trauma to face value. But in my personal time, when it’s appropriate, I allow myself to fully process and heal from those traumas. People might not understand that I don’t have the leisure or luxury to maximize my traumas due to the responsibilities I carry in my life. The way that I process my feelings and evaluate the events in my life are for me to understand and is ultimately my responsibility in where the opinions of others are just merely that, opinions.

I hope we can be good to each other because life is short. If things could be simplified, we could all benefit collectively from better communication, understanding, and empathy. I hope these days of feeling this way will eventually stop so I can finally breathe and face controversy without fear.

My concerns and intentions to address my concerns are genuine and valid. I’m just trying to get through life with the people I want to spend it with—my children, a few friends, and family. It is a very small, tight-knit circle that’s mostly inaccessible. I will always love those who love and support me.

I pray that I am continuously protected, time after time, again and again.  I aspire for that day to come where I’m able to feel safe existing and being my authentic self. I look forward to focusing on the little things that matter to me. Right now, nothing matters more than my kids. That’s all that matters to me then, now and will forever always be through this lifetime of mine.