You’re still here with us, and I’m so grateful for that.
Every moment, every breath, every quiet glance or shared laugh. But I know in my heart that we may not have a lot of time left, and that’s what’s been breaking me.
I don’t know how to say everything I’m feeling out loud, but I need you to know this: even though life has never been perfect, you’ve always been the best dad to me. I see the ways you’ve tried to give me your best, the ways you’ve showed up in the only way you knew how and I’ve always felt that love. I carry it with me.
You’ve always been a fighter, Dad. You already beat cancer once, and watching you fight again… even now… reminds me just how strong you are. But I also know that not every battle is meant to be won. And even in this, your strength is undeniable.
It hurts so much to watch this. My heart feels heavy all the time. I feel helpless. Sometimes I shut down or pull away because I don’t know how to carry all these emotions at once. But it’s not because I don’t care, it’s because I care too much.
I admire how you’ve lived your life with purpose and independence. Whether it was your peaceful morning walks, your coffee routine, or keeping your friendships strong. Those small things were always so big to me. In a world that often feels disconnected, you managed to stay grounded. That’s something I’ve always looked up to.
There’s still time, and I’m trying to treasure it. I want to be present with you as much as I can. I don’t know how to prepare for what’s coming, but I do know that I love you. So deeply. So endlessly.
And I hope somehow you can feel that without needing me to say it perfectly.
With all my heart,
Your daughter
Dear Diary, 