Imagine you somehow come into the frame of the scene of my ride home with my girls. You would feel instantly how happy I am feeling right in that instance. It’s been a long day and I’m driving us to pick up my prescription. From there, I am heading to Wells Fargo and then, last stop, the clubhouse. I did my deed and now we’re almost home. We stopped by mc Donald’s for dinner. I have been cooking, eating, and sleeping all weekend so my Monday blues took me out all Sunday night until 4 am. Next thing you know, it’s 5:30 am and my girls are passing me by to get into the bathroom to begin their morning routine.
I hope I am not the only one who feels guilty about this, but I aspired to have my life so put together that I can walk my kids to the front gate like a normal person and not look dead tired, stressed, and out of sorts. My biggest issue is fighting for more time in the wrong places. Wanting to read and scroll through TikTok and the online retail therapy access will eventually bankrupt me at this point. That says a lot about how I see life, it’s bad, no point stressing it and, in short, “treat yourself queen!” kind of energy. Yup, I will always take risks, I haven’t been the type to fall and even when I have fallen, there are levels to get to rock bottom and I don’t allow myself to get there ever. I always feel that it’s a short time window before the bad times are over. That is how focused I am on the positive.
Stop. Now focus. We are in the car again, my heart is full. This life is and will always be worth living as long as I have my girls, they are my life and my inspiration. When you want something and you have to get it, lose it, wait, and earn it, you will value such “things” more than others. That is what I would say how I’d define what delayed gratification means. It’s having to wait and accept that you don’t get access or control of the situation but waiting and hoping.
Besides the fact that today was a complete fail, well, not complete, partial fail – I took my win when my daughter couldn’t keep her eyes off of me. I am a silly mother so I said, “boo!!!?!” and we laughed, I proceeded with, “are you looking at my lashes?” She confessed and expressed her awe at my lash length. That’s right, my lashes were long and I wasn’t wearing falsies or individuals. Thanks to the Loreal mascara “real” model who isn’t an “influencer” so delivered her technique in acquiring a falsies mascara application lash look that shows length and volume. I’m obsessed and can’t wait for my lash comb to arrive. I didn’t realize how simple techniques really can change the game. The techniques don’t even require excessive knowledge or unattainable tools, it requires effort.
I am not a gatekeeper and therefore, I took the time to pull up the video and even silenced my radio for her to hear. I’m so mind-blown that I relate it to life, dating life in particular. I am blown away by the idea of a charismatic, charming, and forthright approach. What a gem it is to put zero effort into dating and just show up as your most authentic self. Make it two.
Dear Diary, 