The smell of rain lingers in the air. We’ve been on the move from morning until night. Liking the idea of having company is one thing but loving the actual company of someone is an indescribable feeling.
I’ve been trying to write and was able to jot a few thoughts on my Twitter and in my “burn after writing” journal, but I want to write. Like, really write. I want to document my feelings and be as present as needed. Maturing includes being able to appreciate little things, being in the moment, and allowing ourselves to feel more than we think.
My sweet baby called me, and we chatted. Our conversation was as if she is my equivalent. She’s lived a good decade. Her heart and love are so pure. I feel soft and gentle again after our conversation. I feel like we’re connecting spiritually and perhaps telepathically.
Be kind. Always be kind and loving in this very unforgiving and unpredictable world. We have so many opportunities awaiting us and so many things in life to appreciate. You just have to look. Pay attention. My mind is racing at a rapid race, but there’s no competition or destination. I just want to feel this way, I feel like I am myself.
I have been searching for myself. I might meet her, the real her sooner than I thought. Just the thought and idea really excites me and motivates me. I appreciate the storm, I see where there are floods and fallen trees as much as I’ve seen red flags. Now, I just need to have the proper eye sight, identifying the toxic and negative people and their energies and take them exactly as who they are, no more, no less. Exactly as how they are being presented.
I want to keep finding her, and when I have her, I will forever be grateful. The final version of her is coming along very nicely, and I don’t want to rush this very crucial process.
Memories of my imperfectly perfect childhood returned to me through SMS from the Douangmany group chat, and I couldn’t help but laugh. I genuinely laughed out loud because I realized that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. We were all living the most beautiful childhood, and family really is everything to me. We value our time and who we share it with differently, but at the end of the day, I just want all the people I know, near and far, to be happy.
I know that’s a lot to ask for with inflation and how the economy is. Feelings of uncertainty fill me up just from thinking about how the chase to financial security will be endless. There’s no finish line when it comes to the race of life. Our timeline in life is also different, so try to love yourself a little bit more. I try to love those around me more openly. It may seem impossible to find peace at being who you are but I am a true believer, the best things don’t necessarily come into your life first or last so when these moments present itself, make sure that you welcome the little luxuries in life with open arms.
You deserve to be happy, you’re been happy many, many times in life, but we define it differently. You just know it, and honestly, I’ve seen every person that I have love for happy at one point in their life. Holidays, birthdays, new purchases, new additions to the family, new job, new home, and new friendships are just a few to name. I am manefesting all the good vibes, happiness, good health, and sense of security to everyone. Being vulnerable and true to yourself should be an ingredient to the recipe of life. Be authentic and give it your all.
There have been numerous times in my life when my love was not reciprocated, and that was when I realized that I needed to double up on the love because they needed it even more. Just don’t empty your cup to fill anyone else because you aren’t required to love yourself less due to other’s inability to reciprocate your love and effort. Love, love, love, and keep loving. We need it more than ever. We need to influence people who love should trump actions that cause insecurities in others. We need to look beyond the physical and identify with souls more than faces. I feel like I am hopeful for a good year. This is my year only if I take accountability.
Dear Diary, 