Dear Diary, I hope it’s not too late.

I hope there’s still time for me to pour into myself the way I’ve always poured into others. I’ve spent so much time understanding and prioritizing everyone else, but I’m starting to see how vital it is to invest in myself too. I can’t keep filling others’ cups while mine runs dry. So, now is the time for me to replenish, hydrate, and take care of myself. There’s so much going on, and I want to be prepared. I want to be at my best, able to give fully, but only after I’ve taken good care of myself.

Lately, I’ve been finding peace in nature, reflecting on how I can show appreciation and gratitude for the people in my life who contribute to my success and well-being. I understand that it’s no one’s job to save me, just as it’s not my job to save others. I have to take time to hold myself close, comfort myself, and remember the younger version of me who dreamed so big for her future.

That young girl wanted so much—to be the woman who might one day cry in her Mercedes. And even though they say it’s better to cry in a Mercedes than not, I know that regardless of the luxury around me, I’ve achieved more than most. I aim to reach the top 1% of the world because I believe that’s where I belong. As I connect with more people, I realize there’s a shortage of individuals who have emotional intelligence, accountability, independence, or even basic common sense. Despite my efforts to be self-aware and emotionally intelligent, I’m human, too, and I can find fault in myself. I won’t be so hard on myself anymore because I recognize that I’m doing so much better than many.

I feel like I’m manifesting only good things in my life, and I’m grateful for the direction I’m heading. This is the most uncomfortable stage I’ve ever been in, and as things continue to unfold and fall into place, I pray for the strength and wisdom that have carried me through so much—from my daughter’s cancer diagnosis to moving out of my parents’ house, to enduring various experiences as a child. I’ve grown through so many versions of myself, and my vision keeps evolving for that future me I’m striving to become.

As terrifying as it can be to discover what’s going on in the “real” world and with the people I love, I remain resilient and positive. I refuse to let moments of vulnerability or where I am currently in life define who I am or what I’m capable of achieving in the future. I just hope that no matter what happens, no matter how time seems to slow down or speed up, I continue to see the good—not just in myself but in the others. I want to be kinder as well as less harsh on myself and allow myself to absorb and process things slowly over time.

I’ve been dragging certain things out, trying to put depth and thought into every decision. But now, it’s time to execute. It’s time to stop putting others before myself. I hope I continue to choose me, even though it’s been challenging because of the heart I have. I trust that the world will guide me, and I’m optimistic about all the good things that will come.